Took this while walking home and thinking about things.

When its dark and quiet, the cool night air stirs up everything she had tried to ignore - perhaps one too many a time. In the surreal melody of her thoughts, nothing else exists; nothing but a distilled sense of peacefulness in the silence only to be interrupted intermittently by the soft chirping of the crickets around her; nothing but the stationaries of the night. There's too much noise in this world, and all she needs, all she wants is to lie on the wet grass and watch the world go by. To stop, to listen, and to appreciate. She wants to forget, and determined as she is, she will forget. But the silence will always be there, waiting. Waiting for her.

Labels: Photos, Thoughts

Landing in another (very much) failed attempt to complete my Lit PT, I have decided to blog. Had to distribute the Inspiration Run sign up forms to schools, so Lainey and I went to ACS I and RGPS today. When we went to RGPS, I saw Mrs Bong (my P1 form teacher) and I guess it just occurred to me that its been 9 years. Walked around the blocks, found the ceramic tiles which we did for art class in P3 still being displayed on the board behind the canteen. (It’s a good thing that with our blind passion for recognition we carved our names on the front of the artwork). Going back to the canteen, every single stall vendor from 2000 was still there, selling food to all the young ones.

I guess what I felt was not just the nostalgia or the sense of déjà vu, but if at all, nothing but a hint of surprise and amazement. Its amazing, to realize how much things in general have changed since primary school to where we are today; our perspectives, our dreams, our priorities, our life. With these changes hitting us all at the single transition of adolescence, its not surprising how we all just forget what things were like before.

And I think its most of the time that we’re cooped up in own busy lives, we almost forget that things go on without you.

I suppose many would think a life story comparable to a story book. Perhaps a journey, a development, a progression before it finally reaches the denouement and eventually the end. So we simply focus on the main character as he/she progresses on his little adventure of things wonderful and amazing. But the thing is, in life, chapter one of the book moves on. The main character, deftly unaware or simply just nonchalant about the change explores new places, delves in the natures of the untried, of developing crusades and voyages. But by the time he reaches the end, he’s forgotten where he once started out from. Or perhaps he has remembered where he was before, in his memories. But these memories, they won’t remember him.

Its all too easy to say that we should make an effort to check back on the old days because of the relations and the places. Eventually I guess even if we move along, I think there’s one thing that we should remember; that despite the challenges we face, despite the blocked roads ahead of us that leave us wounded and crying, we shouldn’t immediately rip out that page in our book and stop writing. Because before that is a whole legacy of pages that you leave a mark on, even if you once forgot that they were there in the first place. Because those pages are definitely worthy of more. Those pages are worth of overcoming all those problems, worth remembering how much you’re valued as a person, and definitely worth enough for you to write on.

Labels: Thoughts

This post is officially dedicated to my awesomest concert going buddy Claire. Counting back the days to AC Band, RG Choir'07, Raffles Spotlight, Espressione III (and not forgetting the countless fundraisings as PITs AND Jiangnan) xD If you read this just want to say JIAYOU JIAYI for gym stuff :D You can do it! <3 Love muchly (:

Labels: Dedication, Friends

Went to Indochine yesterday to help out with the launch of Stand Up '08 which is part of ONE(Singapore)'s initiative to create awareness about the Stand Up event this coming October (: For those who don't know about Stand Up, Stand Up 2008 is a global initiative organised by the United Nations Millennium Campaign in collaboration with the Global Call to Action Against Poverty. On 17 October 2007 – International Day for the Eradication of Poverty -- 43.7 million people from 127 countries, including Singapore, "stood up" to call for a world without poverty and to remind global leaders of their commitments to the Millennium Development Goals.

The event was a Celebrity Kickoff kindof thing so after we helped out with the registration we totally went to spamming photos with the celebs for fun (:


The whole lot of us with Sheikh Haikal, Vernetta Lopez who's also the president of ONE Singapore, Nadya Hutagalung and her husband Desmond Koh.

Totally wouldn't have missed out on this event for hours of mugging. For more information about how to help launch Stand Up events in your school or your community, do visit the ONE(Singapore) website.

Labels: Events

After about a year and a half of abandoning photoshop and other webdesign programs (resorting to Blogger layouts in the meantime), I have finally gotten down to coding a new layout - yay me. Ah well, at least the time spent for thinking about how to continue with my Lit PT wasn't wasted (:

Labels: J.A.D., Layout

On one of those weird impulses to draw random things. I blame the ugly factor on the fact that its 10pm and my sister's asleep so I can't use the scanner so its all kindof camera-ed + photoshopped. Ah well. Hope this cheers some random souls up.

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
(It'll all get better in time)
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
(It'll all get better in time)

Labels: Doodles, Thoughts

"What I am thinking and doing day by day is resistlessly shaping my future - a future in which there is no expiation except through my own better conduct. No one can save me. No one can live my life for me. if I am wise I shall begin today to build my own truer and better world from within." - H. W. Dresser

Just caught on me how alot of us tend to want to do alot of things but end up doing nothing. We blame it on our tight schedules, our parents who don't give us the opportunity, stress load, say that we'll do it another day, but really - what are we doing with our lives now?

I'm talking about the usual sense of emptiness where we all sit around groan about work we do all day, complain about the sh*t we have to face cold and alone in this cruel world where no one gets the pain and angst we feel. But perhaps its time to ask the more pertinent question - what do we want to do with our lives?

I am not proud to say that many a time I have forgotten how fortunate I am. Was just this random conversation going on in class talking about who does housework, when it occured to me how much we undertake studying as our sole responsibility, if not us then our parents. How they too love us so much, they allow us to forgo the once daily rituals that children do - help out with the housework, do the groceries - the way they take for granted we need all this time for studying, we take for granted their love. And perhaps its just along those lines where gradually it is because of the idea of studying that somehow meddles with our brain too - making us believe that all we are made to do, or at least for now, is to study.

But what if we get bored? What if we get tired? No one ever told us what we could do. In that sense, other than studying, we become goal-less. We start watching TV, going out, going to school only to wait for the next weekend or holiday. And so gradually, the idea of studying, too, loses its appeal to daily cries of "I hate school, why am I even here?" (or the likes of). Somehow talking to Sih Im and Celest at RJ the other day, we were conversing about a random incident of a guy who refuses to go to school because he felt he wasn't learning enough, and so we came to the conclusion that "even though going to school is crap, its part of the process that everyone goes through."

The thing is, with all the other goals set in front of us - to do well, to perform outstandingly well in the A levels - we forget about the goals that matter, our goals. What we want as a person, not what other people want of us. And the thing is, its precisely those goals that eventually give you the drive to go through the crap in life, come out with droppings all over your face but still feel like a winner.

The funny thing is, alot of us take goals to be really huge ideals, dreams and aspirations that we haven't really thought through. But in fact, goals are just targets to reach every day. Whether its finishing 2 worksheets then blogging for an hour before enjoying the rest of your day or simply sitting down and arranging your desk, its still something you want to be done that can be done.

Its hard to say this for everyone - but when you start to lose faith - try thinking back to the time where you had those "To Do" lists and have that sense of satisfaction for every tick you check in the box. Because it's only then that you find the satisfaction in the small little things, it's only then that you structure your life to be what you want it to be, it's only then that you really enjoy the ride while you're on it.

Labels: Thoughts

Letters...


(And then there's more...)

Its not very clear because I really can't be bothered to load the clearer one from my camera, but as a distraction to my Lit PT (or the lackof) yesterday, decided to clear out my cupboard and realised I had these 2 boxes stuffed with letters from Sec 1/2/3. (At that moment it did occur to me that I had a third box which's probably MIA, lying in some desolate corner of my room) So decided to open it up (as seen messed up on the floor) to sort it out and read some of the letters.

Its this mixed feeling of reading countless letters from people you don't talk to anymore, people who have distanced, people who've left, people who've changed and most importantly the people that still stay true. On that note, further separated the huge pile into the stuff that really mattered, and like our wonderful nonsense DNA, only about 10 letters remained. Decided to store them in the pretty Japanese box and packed the rest back.

I guess sometimes we just all really wish that there was a day we could go back to relive those moments. Its just these moments when you remember, then you get scared because the sender could've forgotten how it was before.

Perhaps all we need to do is to remind each other, lest we forget.

But what happens if we both don't remember?

Labels: Thoughts