In yet another half-hearted attempt to keep this blog alive, here I am posting again. That said, before I started typing this I was reading the article "Terror in India" in the latest The Economist issue. It's queer that no matter how many reports initially read on the newspapers, it only hit me hard when news leaked on how a Singaporean hostage was killed in the shootings. Personally, the tragedies of the situation got to me on a few grounds. Not just because she's a Singaporean, not just because of the connection through the inklings of patriotism in my heart or the thoughts about her suffering, but also the realities of terrorism in our world.

Somehow it's inadvertently a case by human nature to take things for granted (most of the time, anyway). Maybe simply because being thankful for every single thing in your life takes a pretty strenuous amount of consciousness (and conscience) which is eventually sorted under the lesser priority amongst the pressures of the other matters of life. But while we sit on our laurels and marvel at the exceptional level of peace and security in our country, there's no better time than now to clear the mist off our glass rims and analyze the situations. To understand how sometimes, things may not always work along the lines of rationality as we know them to function. Sometimes the unexpected happens. Sometimes innocent lives are lost with barely any justification. Sometimes things go wrong, just because.

It's not that we don't understand that things screw up for no reason, but the ironies of the situations in terrorism and our failure to understand lies in our reasoning. As we are conditioned to memorize the cause and effect maps of individual case studies, comply to the principles and rules of human nature, and to understand the rationales of law, the blatant ignorance of all these theories leave our mouths agape, as we search in the abyss of logic for a hint of an answer. Any answer at all, in fact, to quell the uncertainty through the unfamiliar thought processes behind these attacks. And yet again we end up frustrated with nothing in hand; no explanation, no assurance, no answers.

Don't get me wrong in thinking we should start living by the day under a shell of fear of 'what ifs', but I think it's time for us to stop looking for answers that can't be found and start noticing the statements emboldened by such events. More precisely, the statements marking our essential values always overlooked because we have always presumed them to be there. Because as much as we all wish for the ability to foresee the nitty-gritties in our lives, we are still left unknowing. The only thing we know is what we have, right here, right now. While the lack of knowledge leads majority to the effects of uncaring, the choice of making an effort to care. The effort to care, or the careless effort in return; it's really yours to make; don't settle for the lesser choice.

No, no, no, don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got till it's gone
They paved paradise, and put up a parkin' lot

Labels: Events, Thoughts

Rachel is really happy her TWLOHA stuff just came in the mail today (:



And to all those who still don't know what TWLOHA is you can check out their website here or visit my blog entry last year.

"Stop the bleeding. Rescue is possible. Love is the moment."

Labels: Causes, Online Shopping, TWLOHA

Okay deleted off that post because it was whimsical. Or to correct that, far more aimless than all my other posts. But anyhow. FAM was pretty fun though it definitely brought the term "photo whoring" to a whole new level; like some form of serious exercising where you race around an enclosed space finding people in the midst of manyotherpeople, -Snap- and you're off to the next one. (Coming to think of it, that really just sounds like a handphone game, just half the fun and doubly tiring when you actually do it yourself) But anyhow, it was a pretty amazing experience (considerably once or twice in a lifetime so) Hm.


With Shyuan and Moley :D Tablemates!

So yes and for all of you out there who missed Avenue Q - HAH.

You missed a damn good show, seriously. (Okay I shall stop pissing people off early in the morning) Caught the last of the last of the last show on Saturday 16 Nov, was seriously hilarious. More later, scheduled for an dentist appointment. D: Scary dentist chairs still creep me out after haunting experiences from the RGPS dental clinic where the psycho dentist plucked my tooth out for no reason. Urgh >.<

Labels: Holidays, JAD, Thoughts

Chionging to the new books section at NLB has proven to be an extremely beneficial experience for me. For the first time ever, I actually went home with more than 2 books in hand. As much as I proclaim myself a spendthrift, I have a confession in my tendentious ways of expenditure. Assuming the same way it takes me a mere 5 minutes to persuade myself to spend hundreds on bags/ wallets, the value for books (yeah, knowledge. Whatever.) seems to be pretty negligible in contrast to the immediate gratification of the wants I have for. Other worldly materials.

Back to the point, its the same reason why I cannot go into Borders and spend 15 minutes grabbing a book, reading the blurb and going off to pay. Somehow the 25 dollar price tag does not warrant the pleasures of literary appreciation. Its like some piechart goes off in my mind and instead of the former, all I can think of is 'that's 1/8 off my next shopping trip'. And hence, the average amount of time I spend at borders is. 1.5 hours. And out of that, I buy books only about 10% of the time. Alas, my shopalic tedencies have reached the extents of unavoidability.

But so, back to the library. Most of the times I don't like borrowing library books cos the primary categories after searches are "Old", "Used", or "Not There". So instead of going there with a fixed title in mind I kindof just went to the latest additions part of the JRL. It took me less than 15 minutes (in a sort of shallow "its good and its free" mentality) to find 4 books I wanted. Grab, borrow, go. It's almost cathartic, coming to think of which.

So yes back to the point. Currently reading Iodine by Haven Kimmel. I don't know why but I have a tendency to pick up books (even though not mentioned in any sense) involving the likes of at least one psychotic, twisted character. So yes albeit having huge douses of philosophy at the front that got me pretty much confuddled, I think its a good read. For all is worth, it gives me greater conviction to believe that I am not in self-oblivion when I tell myself I'm not wasting my holidays away spending half my day slacking and the other half sleeping. (Yes all you lazy munchkins out there, grab a book and save your brains!) It's not really working out, but it is a start.

Yet again its really amusing how even though its the holidays, I still can't get rid of my waking up at 6am routine. Seriously, the traces of schooling life never stops haunting you, even in a time of rest and recuperation. But all the same, its back to reading. And it really isn't ironic that I'm trying to keep myself sane (and not have my brain fly out of the window of boredom) by reading about the insane lives of mentally ill geniuses and the likes. Really.

Labels: Books, Holidays

I seriously appreciate the miracles of the body, rather, I'm surprised that there hasn't been any chemical explosions of sorts going on after the point where all my medication decided to collide in my bloodstream. That would be cool. So far its just making me drowsy, dizzy, tired and irritated with myself. And of course the usual waspy, barely-there voice and cough and drippy nose booster pack to add on to the real deal. Have I mentioned that I hate being sick?

But anyway, albeit my keen interest to completely obliterate the 's-c-h-o-o-l' word off my mind, some Facebook notification through my email stuck the word right back into my puny little brain. On this note, someone (I apologise, I really forgot who it was) sent me an invite to join the group "Students Against Our STRESSFUL Singapore Education System". Being my usual self (and slightly bemused) I double-clicked to discover that there're 914 people in the group (and counting). Assuming that these people didn't blindly click on the "Join Group" button, that's heck of a lot of Singaporean students.

So back to the point where this bubble-like question mark appears on my head. I started thinking to myself; Is our Singaporean education system really the culprit behind the soaring stress levels of our Singaporean students? Or perhaps, is it just us? Carried on my train of thought with what constitutes of the Singaporean education system when the entire mindmap of the routes of education (which I think is on the MOE website somewhere) which was shown to us once during CLE came to my head.

First things that came to my head - Streaming. Of course skipping the entire "optimizing resources and allowing students to progress at a rapid pace whilst interacting with students of similar learning abilities" part, somehow the mention of a single word (or two, or three) makes all these benefits' worth simply topple down like domino bricks, leaving them to waste away, more or less forgotten. It is simply this - It causes stress.

Now, what is stress? Essentially the dictionary defines it as physical, mental, or emotional strain. So, does streaming really cause stress? Yes, a lot would point out. The stress to outperform, to outdo, to land in the gifted/ EM1 streams, to be the elite. So now after much thought and contemplation, we have officially done away with gifted/ EM1 streams (or so I heard), perhaps in a bid to make the education system seem less stressful after all those complains on forums and what not. But is our education system stressful, really?

I think another aspect a lot of us incessantly point out is the tumultuous homework load in line with all the other commitments which are "not compulsory", but definitely necessary for our pretty portfolios (yes, this includes CCA). But I think we simply draw the link between the two and fail to realise these are merely characteristics of the way the education system has been chosen to be carried out. Our education system is merely a hypothetically structured framework for students to pass through - it is us that makes the system fluid. And hence to me, the system in itself isn't stressful, but the process in which it is being operated on results in a tendency for students to become stressed out.

Basing the education system as a microcosm of society in our preparation for the dark and deadly unknown we know as "future", we know for sure that most things in this world (I'm sorry for demystifying those still in their little bubbles of oblivion) are viewed as a competition. If you choose to disagree with this, you still have the admit that the segregation through classes (pun not intended) will inadvertently be present in our society due to the various factors present resulting in a cumulative effect we simply cannot eliminate. Let's face it: there is nothing much really, that allows for a purely homogenous society where everyone is of an equal standard. And this is what our Singaporean education system has done, by streaming us through our grades. But does it mean we have to be stressed out because of the way we're classified?

Perhaps it's too young an age to clearly define which route an individual should take. Perhaps it's because of the sheer one-way education route decided upon us in the early stages of our lives that makes it so hard to step out of the conventional cycle, resulting in the stressfulness of the entire schooling system here in Singapore. But all in all, you have to admit; we are the ones stressing ourselves. Not so much because of the education system but instead the way we perceive the standard routes of what we should or should not do while we traverse this route. But that in itself is a choice. It is a choice, but the odds of not following is too high, you might add on, and I agree that it is deemed almost necessary for all of us to follow the traditional "mug, study, exam, mug more, study more, exam" routine, to follow the footsteps and tread the same path generations over generations have taken on their route to achieve success. Maybe it is because we have it inculcated in our heads that in order to get to where we want to be, this is the safest route to take. But this route comes with high levels of stress, yet we choose to embark on this route altogether. So really, is our education system the one that is stressing ourselves out, or is it perhaps, just our environment, or even more, maybe just us?

Unknowingly (or knowingly so), we all set expectations for ourselves and in this system. We're forced to look back and ensure that we achieve these goals for the fear of failure. But then again, we fail to realise that this path of wanting to achieve-it-all is purely our decision based on what others have decided to do, and definitely not something the education system laid down for us to follow.

So call it being naive or whatsoever, but essentially to me, the term 'stressful' in itself is merely a matter of perception. The Singporean education system (just like any other education system in the world), may result in stress; perhaps slightly more than the average, perhaps much more. But what adds the f-u-l to the stress is merely one group of people - us. That's right - the way we perceive the stress levels, the way we handle them, the decisions we make in this system and finally the importance of staying ahead in this rat race we call life. So, being a student in Singapore may be stressful, but to the extent we can blame the Singaporean education system for our woeful cries of despair when major exams come round the corner? Not likely.

Okay I guess this topic's pretty much open to one's interpretation and opinion so this's just my two cents worth (with a sniffly nose to go along). On a sidenote, Higher MT O's are over! It sucks sitting through four hours of Chinese wanting to fall asleep while coughing sporadically, but hey, its over! Now I'll just have to pray that I pass.

Labels: Ramblings, Studies, Thoughts

I wish I could say 'I did better than expected, it's good enough', or even 'I didn't do better than expected, but it's still good enough'. Yet again, I didn't expect anything, so we'll just leave it as 'it's good enough'. It still hasn't hit me that the end of the RGS-in-Rachel's-Life era has plunked itself right infront of my face. I just feel. Old, and very much free (considering I have completely given up on studying for my HMT).

Its quite pathetic actually, my studying process has been going along the lines of this:
1. Taking out stacks of chinese notes
2. Sorting them out into "Important" and "Not Important"
3. Throwing away the "Not Important" (Yes, throwing away. I see Yishy and Celene laughing.)
4. Flipping through a few notes from the "Important" pile
5. Storing them in a pretty folder.

This process has repeated itself exponentially for the past week resulting in the "Important" stack now consisting of merely 6 pages of tuition notes and school notes. (Kindof too late, but if you desperately needed chinese notes, you'd find my entire year's work in the rubbish chute of my condominium.) So its back to confirming the fact that unlike all the closet muggers out there frantically chionging, I have. Given up. Totally. (Yay me!)

Meanwhile I'm forcing myself to wake up and start deciding on my JC subject choices. Once again in my bid for my Doctor Dream I am going to take 2 sciences. And then ponder about the rest. Choices, choices, choices. Leaving you no choice but to choose.

Labels: Studies, Thoughts