- Start Rant -

Perhaps I've been reading too much of the ST until I got all bored with the AWARE saga that has been bombarding the newspapers. Seriously just to sum it up in one sentence or so: a major NGO in Singapore has its reigns now held by new people. Like any other greenhorns taking over, they're new. They have experiences in other areas that have proven them pretty successful, but being completely unexperienced in the new field of advocacy doesn't equate to being a bad leader, so just leave the organization alone and let them handle their own internal strife (which probably didn't even exist before it got blown so out of proportion)? Seriously, the fact that the 2-page report on aware (even after nearly a week long debacle with even more coverage) triumphs even main page content of the flu outbreak is slightly alarming. As of now, I have 2 main theories on today's reported statistics that a large percentage of Singaporeans don't know about the "AWARE controversy". (A) they've not been reading the news (B) they couldn't care less. I'm not saying its not good to be keeping everyone in the know about what's going on with one of the more established advocacy groups in Singapore, but the reporting done is exceedingly extensive to the point of excess. There are many other more significant things going on in the world that deserve a spot on our daily news, so move on.

- End Rant -

That said, another article on how having a close circle of friends benefits one in the long term. It kindof just hit me on my lack of a social circle. Somehow the idea of a social circle brings in the ideas of commonality, similar interests, the able to bond through a special allegiance of the sorts. I guess that's partly the reason why good friends don't happen everyday, but nonetheless the question - if one is different, does that hinder one's ability to make (good) friends? As I spend my Saturdays and Sundays either alone or with my family, the observation grew on me as I reasoned it out in my head, being a, that I'm either missing that friendship gene or, b, that I am simply expecting too much and in fact have alot of good friends that just don't go out together.

With the advent of technology, attempts to live vicariously through social lives of another seems all too easy with a simple click on one's facebook updates page. But then again, to each its own. In a place where the excesses of life is a common addiction, I leave RJ either (good) friendless and mildly depressed or a better case in which I find out that the possibilities for such friendships do exist, in which I'm missing in my current state of inertia.

Either way, I think I'll be fine.

Labels: Ramblings, Thoughts

I spend 5/7 of my days in a terrible stressful environment. Perhaps I did bring it upon myself to take Bio RA, but then again I do guess it is the perspective that matters the most. To deem stress a milder form of mental illness would seem rather extreme, but it does have a slight overlap - the stress on oneself if merely a derivation of speculated external pressure; in which justified or not is an entirely different question altogether.

For some reason, the stress signals in my head seem to be lessening, which probably means (a) I'm actually figuring out how to catch up or (b) I've decided to heck care it all. Frankly I can't come to either conclusion, which leaves me to the last that (c) my subconscious is acting upon itself to come to a decision. Then again, if my subconsciousness has overtaken the decision-making mechanisms in my head, there's the inherent assumption that my conscious mind isn't doing its job proper - which begs the question - am I stressing myself out?

In fear of continuing on a mental debate till my mind completely ceases to function, I shall attempt to visualize empty vessels and clear the fuzzy matter I can almost imagine swirling around in the recesses of my brain. In this state of vacuity, I end off yet another aimless entry.

Till Friday (the specifics set at 1140), when my brain will miraculously revive itself.

Labels: Thoughts

Since when have I developed such a penchant for caring about what others thought of me? It is precisely never (in a pretty long time) that I find myself honestly puzzled in a recent engagement in likes of the former statement. Which begs the question, it is truly considered one's character when the choice to conform (or not) is actively enforced? Albeit having this choice in the sub-conscious, it is in fact the inner debacle of sorts that has gotten me rather perturbed.

They say you know yourself best, but in fact part of that sustenance of the being through time cannot be assumed to be inalienable without interactions with peers that possibly contribute to one's conformity. Sure, the interpretation of what defines you is pretty subjective, but nonetheless influenced yet again by others. After much deliberation and going around in endless circles, gradually started thinking about council and campaigning.

All in all I don't think I've been psychotically selling myself to the school. Beneficial in popularity contests like voting perhaps, but my belief stands firm that if people truly believed in your ability, they would vote for you regardless whether you gave them a sticker or not (applies conversely). There's been talk about inner politics and such but in all honesty, I really hope the right people get in for the right reasons.

In that, whatever the outcome, I think the campaigning process was very much worthwhile experience; whilst banner painting with Chloe and Yongen I almost forgot why I was doing and simply basked in the mounds of pretty colours splattered all around the place (yes, the simplicity of it all). Really really enjoyed campaigning (and should Chloe Yongen or Aaron see this; thank you muchly for it all), and that's pretty much it.

Nonetheless, whether I get in or not is pretty much up to fate and friends; leaving it all in His hands with no regrets.

Que Sara Sara, whatever will be will be.

Labels: Thoughts

Wrote this quite some time ago in a semi-conscious state of about 10 minutes, but here goes:

Heads turned ‘round,
Words spill forward.
Too fast, too fast -
Too fast for comfort.

Faces at the dawn
We bask in the illusion of straight lines;
Gliding slowly, gently
Ahead, with our myopic vision.

Hands etched with guilt,
We deny the facts lying ahead;
But be careful - Dodge, now,
Before they hit us all!

Legs racing, sprinting,
We turn, we swerve, as we continue
Speechless in our heavy
Chains of logic.

With our reddened eyes
We say nothing,
With our words,
We say everything;

As we continue
Forgetting our purpose;
Spinning, in endless
Circles.

Labels: Compositions, Poetry